These are the 7 new sex trends you need to try in 2019

Sure, sex has been around since the dawn of time, but that doesn’t mean it’s not constantly evolving. Here are seven sex, love and sexual health trends to keep on your radar this year.

1. The sex revolution

BDSM is coming out of the shadows. According to Saskia Michel, commanding officer at Matildas.

“Since 50 Shades of Grey hit the market, people have been way more interested in exploring bondage and kink. We’re seeing people becoming more and more adventurous with this: simple whips and handcuffs are no longer cutting the mustard. People now want full latex clothing, masks and leather body harnesses (which we are also seeing in high fashion overseas). People are definitely becoming more open-minded, curious and kinky.”

Time to explore your limits and have some fun.

2. (No more) dirty talk

Relationship counselling has always been a bit of a taboo subject – who wants to admit that they are having problems? – but intimacy and relationship coach Tracy Ziman Jacobs believes that the subject is becoming more acceptable and will only continue to do so.

“Marriage is tough with many challenges and that is why seeing an intimacy and relationship coach is the way to set new intimate tones for 2018.”

Not having any problems? You can still benefit from counselling sessions.

“Counselling can help a happy and functional relationship by giving [the couple] more ideas to achieve more goals for connection. It may be the type of therapeutic intervention to take the couple into a deeper understanding of their spiritual, intellectual or sexual selves,” explains Ziman Jacobs.

Intimacy coaching (where coaches engage with clients and teach sensual and sexual healing work in a safe space), is also growing in popularity, with Intimacy Coach SA, run by Anne-Marie Clulow-Visser, leading the pack. (Also see SexualityCoachCertification.com)

3. Swingers party

Nope, we’re not talking about those parties where you throw your car keys into a bowl next to the front door. We’re talking literal swings.

When Matildas conducted their sex survey last year, they found that people were looking to add some spice to their sex lives and try new things.

“The majority of our customers are married or in committed relationships and they find that time pressure, stress, work and children are having a negative impact on their sex lives,” says Michel.

“Excitement is the name of the game and it seems that many people find love swings the ultimate in sexual adventure. We’re talking weightless, gravity-defying sex; sex which requires vulnerability and trust.”

4. V-power

Never has working out your pelvic floor muscles been so cool and it’s only getting cooler. From yoni eggs and Kegel balls to coregasm workouts, there’s a product and exercise regime to get you having more intense orgasms, increased arousal and… To help with that incontinence.

Dr Elna Rudolph, medical doctor, sexologist and clinical head of MySexualHealth.co.za, explains that the rise in popularity of toys geared towards strengthening your pelvic floor is threefold.

“Firstly, there is so much more marketing around the topic because there are now so many online shops selling these products. Secondly, women are taking charge of their sexual health much more than they did previously. They’re also in better economic positions and can afford to purchase products, rather than just relying on exercises.

“Thirdly, from a medical perspective, there are more physiotherapists, specialised in women’s health, who can help women strengthen their pelvic floors. They might also advise women to get some of these toys to do their homework with – making the therapy much more effective.”

Time to pump that (internal) iron!

5. Swingers party

Ok, NOW we are talking about those parties where you throw your car keys into a bowl next to the front door.

Few people know this, but swinging as a fad in America actually began in the 1950s with Air Force officers in California swapping wives. Today, though, in clubs and private homes in London, Paris, New York, and many other places, the swinger trend has reemerged. Nightline, ABC News, The Daily Mail and plenty of other media outlets have covered it. Some participants are bored, middle-aged couples trying to revitalize their sex lives. Others are young, sophisticated urbanites looking for a weekend thrill and a way to blow off steam after a stressful work week.

There are endless variations and combinations. Some couples don’t want to know anything about the other’s escapades; others want to know every detail. Swingers are just as varied and individual as any like-minded group of people, and it all comes down to individual preferences that have been clearly communicated between committed partners.

Gen X and Millennials are interpreting monogamy in an entirely new way these days. What’s more, women seem to be the ones driving the most recent swinging fad, calling the shots and being choosy with their partners.

6. Fewer Faked Orgasms

Over the past year, conversations about consent, safe sex, and healthy intimacy have come into the spotlight, and these kinds of convos (even the tough ones) help us live more satisfying sex lives.

So instead of “faking it,” women in particular are becoming more willing to speak up and prioritize their pleasure — and less willing to accept bad behavior, both in and out of the bedroom.

“The biggest change I see in sensuality for 2019 is that women are tired of faking their pleasure and settling for ho-hum connection,” says Marna Schwartz, a sensuality educator and founder of Pleasure Yoga. “They are reigniting their relationships on a playing field of loving honesty, compassion, and creating intimate explorations as teammates rather than opposing forces with their partner.”

7. All the single ladies

Praise be! Being single no longer carries the stigma it once did.

“‘Single’ is no longer a swear word. For some people, marriage just didn’t happen. They were either too busy climbing the corporate ladder or they spent their early adulthood in serious relationships that never materialised into marriage or they simply never found ‘the one,’” says Ziman Jacobs. “People are opting to go solo by choice as relationships have been disappointing for some.”

With women becoming more independent, financially and otherwise, there is no longer pressure to rely on a partner and thus there is no pressure to settle down for anything other than love.

We can take our time finding a partner and no longer get so many raised eyebrows at those family dinners. Praise be, indeed.